Getting Stressed Again...
...but trying to breathe and stay calm. Settling on the place where our reception is going to be held has proven more difficult than I thought--expense is the big factor, with most places having minimums for number of guests (the one place we're looking at has a minimum of 200 guests, which would increase our costs by at least $1,000). I've thought over and over, 'Maybe we should just skip the big wedding and save the money for a house," but then as I've told H., I really can't imagine our wedding being any smaller than the 175 we're currently anticipating and still feeling like our community of family and friends is present.
I was reading some Thich Nhat Hanh this morning, some of his thoughts on Sangha (Buddhist term for spiritual or other community) and marriage, and I realized that we really can't compromise on our wedding size. It may cost a little more money to try and go with a bigger place, but in the end the blessings and joy that a wedding of our true community will far outweight any monetary cost.
Still, I'm a little torn by where, finally, we should plan to have our reception. There are so many fantasies and ideals I have--not to mention the ideals of our respective families that we must contend with, although, fortunately, they are being shockingly quiet about their wants--that I'm projecting onto this wedding. One of the things I've done to try and soothe any sorrow I might have about not having the wedding in the 'perfect' locale (e.g. a garden ceremony and reception site with beautiful views and delicious food--I've costed some of those places out and unfortunately they'd cost us at least $15,000 alone) by thinking, 'Well, H. and I could always have our ten-year anniversary vow renewal ceremony here...." That's helped a lot, thinking about the anticipated longevity of our relationship, how this wedding is just the beginning of a long, hopefully happy road ahead, which will be marked by many other 'firsts'. In this way, I've avoided getting too caught up in the idea of a 'fantasy' wedding, but that ole' socialization is pretty powerful.
Wish us luck as we make our final decision.
I was reading some Thich Nhat Hanh this morning, some of his thoughts on Sangha (Buddhist term for spiritual or other community) and marriage, and I realized that we really can't compromise on our wedding size. It may cost a little more money to try and go with a bigger place, but in the end the blessings and joy that a wedding of our true community will far outweight any monetary cost.
Still, I'm a little torn by where, finally, we should plan to have our reception. There are so many fantasies and ideals I have--not to mention the ideals of our respective families that we must contend with, although, fortunately, they are being shockingly quiet about their wants--that I'm projecting onto this wedding. One of the things I've done to try and soothe any sorrow I might have about not having the wedding in the 'perfect' locale (e.g. a garden ceremony and reception site with beautiful views and delicious food--I've costed some of those places out and unfortunately they'd cost us at least $15,000 alone) by thinking, 'Well, H. and I could always have our ten-year anniversary vow renewal ceremony here...." That's helped a lot, thinking about the anticipated longevity of our relationship, how this wedding is just the beginning of a long, hopefully happy road ahead, which will be marked by many other 'firsts'. In this way, I've avoided getting too caught up in the idea of a 'fantasy' wedding, but that ole' socialization is pretty powerful.
Wish us luck as we make our final decision.
posted by Rona Fernandez | 9:08 AM
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