Bridezilla Here I Come!

I've decided that, in the grand tradition of radical political and cultural activists of color, queer people, etc. who have decided to reclaim the derogatory names that were once used to shame them (e.g. 'fag' or 'dyke' or the N-word), I am going to embrace the title 'Bridezilla'. Not because I think my needs are the only ones that matter on my wedding day--far from it, I've consulted my groom and probably way too many other people about how we should do things and where and why, etc.--but because I truly believe that Bridezilla has come to define and label and target and villify any woman who wants her wedding day to be special, and is willing to go the extra mile to make that happen.

I've already been called 'Bridezilla' by a friend who escalated an argument with me because of a misunderstanding that happened to occur at a particularly stressful period in my wedding planning, when I think I had every right to set a boundary with said friend in order to protect my sanity--in other words, to keep myself from giving in to a request that one person was making without taking into account my needs or my husband-to-be's needs. I've been casually, jokingly called Bridezilla by acquaintances whom I don't think really know how loaded of a word that is, because they asked how the planning was going and I said that I was a bit stressed out about it.

So, damnit, if that's what people are going to define as a 'Bridezilla'--a woman who knows what she wants, and who refuses to let her needs for one of the most important and high-profile days of her life be trampled on by people who can barely know what it feels like to be in her shoes, or a woman who admits to feeling stressed out by the intense work that goes into planning a full-day, 150+ person event--then, yes, I am a Bridezilla! And proud of it.

Really, I'm a Bridezilla in everyday life--a perfectionist, a high-achiever, someone who goes above and beyond the call of duty to perform well for my organization, to help my friends, and to improve my community. But for some reason, when I apply those same standards of excellence and performance to the planning of a day intended to celebrate my relationship with my life partner, all of a sudden I'm a Bridezilla. Odd, isn't it? When I'm doing all those things to help fulfill other people's needs, to take care of the payroll for my staff, or organizing a social justice conference, or what have you, then I'm a fundraising-event-coordination-rock-star-goddess.

But far be it for me to be perfectionist or stressed out about my wedding. Then I'm being a Bridezilla! Is there something wrong with this picture?

So be it then. Bridezillas of the world unite! And I'd lay money on it that there are grooms out there who are just as perfectionistic as their brides about their wedding desires. I know H. has been more picky about certain aspects of the wedding than I have. Funny, though, there's no male equivalent of the word 'Bridezilla' as far as I know.

Kind of reminds me of how there isn't really a good male equivalent for another 'B-word' that we all know and love.