My Fantasy Career: Alternative Wedding Planner!

I've referred to the gay marriage phenomenon happening currently in California a few times before, and I've realized that this historic moment opens up a whole new sector for the 'bridal' industry (hmm, that name may have to change soon...): gay wedding planning.

I'd already been thinking during the last few months that when I shift over to consulting full-time (sometime in the next couple years after I leave my current job), I'd like to add wedding planning and coordination to the list of services I could provide. I already do fundraising training and consulting, and have done some event planning as both a consultant and a nonprofit staffer. I really like planning events (uh, duh, I started a whole new blog that's basically about my wedding planning!) and I've heard from other folks that I'm pretty good at it. I like dealing with details, figuring out creative solutions to unique problems, and observing and learning about different people's visions and values around special days like weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Plus, being the progressive, pro-queer feminist that I really think that the whole gay marriage tidal wave is going to change the institution of marriage. Not in the whole 'man and woman' way, but on a more substantial and systemic level. No doubt, many gay people want to get married because of the institutional (and some say, including I, elitist and pro-capitalist) benefits that marriage provides: protection for your assets, the ability to pass on inherited wealth (aka being able to keep the profits you or your family may have earned by exploiting other people in your family with limited taxation), the formal recognition of your relationship as valid, etc. But at the same time, gay relationships--having had to be radical on many levels the way straight relationships don't have to be--are often inherently subversive, and gay people tend to take pride in that. From gender-bending (who's the Mrs. and the Mr. in a marriage between two men, or two women? or between transgendered people? who's the 'top' and who's the 'bottom' are sometimes more relevant terms to queer folks) and screwing with mainstream society's view of what a 'real man' or 'real woman' should be like, to breaking the serial-monogamy rules and having open or 'complicated' relationships, to accepting sexuality in a full-frontal, often healthier way than straight society deems acceptable, the gay community and therefore gay relationships have the potential to rattle the institution of marriage to its very core.

And I think that's a very, very good thing--not to mention it'll be lots of fun to watch unfold! And what better place to be part of all the brouhaha and excitement than by being a same-sex wedding planner? I'd also, of course, want to be eco-conscious and offer a whole menu of green wedding options. I'm totally serious, people, I want to help gay people have fabulous, enviromentally friendly, well-planned and beautifully executed weddings!

So if you're a gay or lesbian or tranny or whatever couple and you need some help with all the myriad details that having a spectacular nuptial ceremony brings, gimme a holler. I'd love to help you make your wedding dreams come true.

Coupla More Links

The semi-closeted, future-fabulous event planner in me stumbled upon this cool blog by Soiree Special Events as I was looking for creative ideas for escort cards. I love the ideas that they and their clients came up with which are featured in the blog. So cute and creative--although the pumpkin one is a little cliche for a Fall wedding. We'll probably do something nature-y but not anything that screams 'Autumn!' even though our wedding is in September. We're trying to be as unique as possible. We're trying to be as eco-friendly as we can with our wedding without totally alienating our family or doubling our budget (don't believe the hype--getting recycled everything isn't always cheaper, as evidenced by the cost of cloth versus paper tablecloths, but we do believe in paying a little bit more so that Mother Earth can be happier).

Speaking of tablecloths, almost definitely going to go with Piedmont Party Rental for our rented tablecloths for the reception. Their customer service so far has been really good--friendly, knowledgable and efficient staff--and their prices are decent. Plus they have a good set of choices for china (aka plates) and silverware, which at some places is just downright ugly. But we're probably going to end up buying our own cake platter, at the suggestion of our reception staff coordinator, since we'll definitely use it again when we have parties in the future.

And with the whole gay marriage thing just exploding over here on the West Coast, I have to say there's a big part of me that wants to become a wedding planner and specialize in gay weddings. How much fun that would be! H. and I were very happy to see our colleagues Carol Cantwell and Rachel Lanzerotti featured in the San Francisco Chronicle this past week. How cute they are! And you can't beat a wedding 'album' complete with a full spread of photos from a major daily! Congrats Carol and Rachel!