An Amazing Photographer: Hasain Rasheed

So we're going to be working with Hasain Rasheed as our wedding photographer. He's a very cool, laid-back guy whom we met with his wife and business partner, Joanna Kaplan, an equally cool and friendly person. I'm SO excited about having them as our photography team for our wedding, because Hasain is a true artist and because they are just people we vibed with immediately. They weren't fake the way the other photography consultant was that we met with, who (honest to God) emailed us after our meeting with a form-email that said, "It was so great to meet you both! You are so adorable together!' I was like, "Eeew...uh, NO." The wedding industry is a trip. And Hasain and Joanna are just regular folks who have skills that we need to make our wedding memorable and reflective of our values, which include not paying $3500 for mediocre photos. Not to mention that they're both from the Town! So we're supporting local business at the same time.

Tonite we're going to have dinner at Silver Dragon Restaurant, where we're thinking of having our reception. I'm worried that if the food isn't good, which judging by the reviews I've been reading, it isn't, even for a banquet, our options will be severely limited. We're on a tight budget ($1000 if possible for the venue rental) and anyplace that rents for wedding and is half-way decent tends to charge at least $1200. It's crazy! I can't believe that a 'budget' wedding for 175 has to cost more than a new car.

Anyway, if you have any bright ideas for us I'd love to hear them. Otherwise, just cross your fingers for us that the food at Silver Dragon is yummy. The upshot is that they've already told us we can have a lechon, so that's good.

Staying Close to Home

So I had my first truly negative experience (not just annoying, but negative) as part of this wedding planning thing today. We walked all the from our house to the this place, which is located in a very white, very affluent city named Piedmont, in the middle (yes, I'm not kidding) of Oakland. I won't go into great detail about the experience, but suffice it to say that I refuse to have my wedding reception in a place where my very multi-racial, multicultural wedding guests may deal with condescending, possibly racist attitudes from staff who think they're too good to answer your questions.

H. told me that he was surprised that I even wanted to do the reception in Piedmont in the first place, but he didn't say anything until today. I was like, "Um, okay, that's something I would've liked to hear a couple months ago when we first looked at this place." Would've saved me some grief.

So now we're going to be looking pretty much exclusively in Oakland, so that we can be near where the ceremony is going to be and so we can stay closer to home. I'd rather give my hard-earned money to a private business or to the local government in my own city than give it to snobby Piedmont folks who think their time is more important than mine.

So, yay Oakland! Having both the ceremony and the reception (and probably the rehearsal dinner too) in Oakland was always my frist choice, and it seems that the universe agrees with me.

And on a Different Note

Just yesterday I felt like things were moving smoothly with wedding stuff---then today I feel stressed out again. It's like that with me and big event planning. But after attending and participating in the Rockwood Leadership program last week and taking a good hard look at how I react to any work situation (and no doubt, wedding planning is work), I'm trying to refine and revise my approach to planning big events. I don't like having those stressed-out, insomnia-inducing moments where all I want to do is focus on some aspect of the planning for three hours (usually from 2am to 5am, resulting in serious fatigue at work the day after). It's not a healthy or fun way to be.

I'm trying to just breathe through my anxiety, to keep telling myself that it'll all be okay. And for some reason, right now, I just don't really feel like doing wedding planning work. There, I said it. And lightning has not struck me from above (knock on wood). Everything's gonna be all right. Sooner or later I'm going to really believe those words.

Moving Right Along

All right! So the ceremony venue's booked (although I'm still not sure if I should post it here in case some crazy ex-boyfriend decides to show up and ruin our special day), getting close to booking a reception site, I'm close to getting my dress (or at least, my first dress--seems like a lot of women change their minds after buying one), and our wedding party/committee will be meeting in January to get started on our work.

It still seems like the wedding is a long way away but I want to do as much as possible ahead of time so that neither H. nor I need to be stressed out the day of, or even in the days immediately preceding the wedding ("Yeah right!" I hear the former brides and grooms saying to themseles). In any case, preparation and planning are my strong suits and I've lined up an impressive group of wedding helpers if I do say so myself--friends who are equally talented at event planning, logistics, decorations, dealing with difficult family members, etc. Just the people I want to have around me on the big day.

Lastly, I want to use this blog to explore some of the thornier, more emotional issues that are coming up for me around the wedding planning, like how to share the workload more with my partner, or getting to the internalized socialization I'm falling into by getting so 'into' my wedding planning. A few months ago, I didn't even think we were going to get married, or would only get married after we had a baby, and then just at the courthouse. But I feel like this wedding 'project' is an important one for us, and can really teach us a lot about ourselves and each other. It's made me feel stressed out, yes, but it's also made me feel curious about all these underlying values, feelings and ideas I have about relationships, family, and marriage in a way that I don't think I would have if I wasn't planning a wedding. And for that reason alone I'm glad H. and I are getting married.

Also coming soon: booking a photographer! Wish us luck!